Why He’s Hot:

1. Who’s this doe-eyed little cutie you ask? He’s Robby Benson, a.k.a. the voice of the mother fucking Beast. Can you imagine him purring at you from under the bed sheets?
2. Back in the day, he was a genuine teen heartthrob. This boy can do it all:  sing, act, write, narrate. He was even considered for a little film saga known as Star Wars, you might have heard of it?
3. Robby is a family man. He really loves his wife. I mean, he really loves her. Girls love a man who will take care of them.
4. Speaking of taking care of his women, have you seen Ice Castles? No? Well you’d better rent that shit and watch this boy take care of his blind girlfriend. Look at him cheering her on.  Not to mention, this scene. You don’t have to do much imagining to see what’s under those tighty whities.
5. Pretend you’re pressed against his body, staring into those piercing eyes, messing up that perfectly feathered hair, and swooning over all the dirty things that sexy voice is whispering in your ear. Now try to tell me this boy is not fine.

{submission}

Why He’s Hot:

1. What did you say? “Who is this?” you asked? This is Orson motherfucking Welles, bitch. You betta recognize your fine-ass, old Hollywood superstars.
2. Just check him out in action. Does that NOT make you wanna jump in a motherfuckin’ time machine and do unspeakable things to that meaty, man-bod of his?
3. Have you even HEARD the 1938 radio broadcast of War of the Worlds? You hear that deep, sultry voice? Ok, good. Now check the floor. Are your panties there yet?
4. He was also a magician. But, shit, it wouldn’t take any magic tricks to get you bare naked and in his bed.
5. This motherfucker hardly ever walked around without a pipe or a cigar. Makes you wish you could put something else in his mouth, now doesn’t it?

{submission}

Why He’s Hot:

1. Just say his name: Clint Eastwood. There has never been a manlier name on the face of the planet. The name Clint Eastwood actually means “what you will be screaming out in the throws of passion as gorgeous man ravages your body.” Seriously, look it up.
2. I think it goes without saying that Clint’s six foot three inches of pure testosterone charged perfection is irresistible. Just tell me you can resist looking at that adorable smile, those squinty eyes, that run-your-hands-through-it hair, those rippling muscles, his flawless face, or that precariously placed cigarillo dangling from his mouth. That’s right you can’t. No one can.
3. The man looks good in everything. Everything. Cowboy hat? Suit? Tux? Short shorts? Poncho? Nothing? Clint’s so fucking sexy he makes a noose look like the next big fashion accessory.
4. Clint is a walking sexual fantasy. If you want to play good cop bad cop, he’s already got the handcuffs. Want to try out the saloon girl costume I know you have in your closet? This cowboy’s ready to be ridden.
5. But Clint’s not just another piece of, albeit very sexy, meat. Oh no, this piece of meat has more talent than any mere mortal deserves to have. Not only can he act, but he can direct, produce, and compose, winning this well-aged stud five Academy Awards, five Golden Globe Awards, a Screen Actors Guild Award and five People’s Choice Awards. Success has never been such a turn on.

{submission}

Why He’s Hot:

1. He’s The motherfucking Boss. He was hot then and he’s hot now. Scruffy Bruce, nonscruffy Bruce, surprised and shirtless Bruce, 60-year-old Bruce on the beach…uh, I’m sorry. I think I need a minute.
2. The ass. It just happened to star on the cover of the best-selling album of 1985. Coincidence? Doubtful. I mean, look at that.
3. He’s an incredible performer, even when he forgets the words or almost obliterates the cameraman with an ill-fated powerslide. Shut up, you know you wouldn’t mind being destroyed by that crotch. And he basically invented the onstage bromance.
4. He’s always had a great sense of style in a badass rocker way. Bruce even manages to make his occasional not-so-awesome fashion choices look, well, fucking awesome. Not that his clothes really matter when all you’re thinking about is how much you want to tear them off.
5. He may be a legend, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He makes sure that his shows are 3+ hours of pure joy for his fans: he takes requests, crowd surfs, and lets little kids sing with him. That’s why they recognize his superiority to Hannah Montana. Damn straight, kids. Damn straight.

{submission}