Why He’s Hot:

1. OH SHIT it’s DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE. This sexy ass is one of the top paper salesmen at Dunder Mifflin, Assistant (to the) Regional Manager, and amazing at life.
2. Dwight is a real man. He used to be a volunteer sheriff deputy. He also knows how to handle weapons and do karate. AKA he can save your fine ass before tapping it.
3. He owns Schrute Farrms…a 9 room bed and breakfast. That’s right…9 rooms to sex you up in.
4. You may think he may not look like a player, but he’s got game.
5. Oh..did I mention he has HIS OWN BOBBLEHEAD?

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Why He’s Hot:

1. Han Solo. Intergalactic smuggler and mercenary. He is as charming as all fuck and confident too. Look at those eyes, don’t they just scream ”I’m incredible in bed!”?
2. His jaw. Holy shit! No wonder a princess fell in love with him.
3. He rocks a vest. Not many guys can pull off a vest, but he is one of the ones who can. Check that fucking thing out. I’d make him keep it on during sex, that’s for sure.
4. He’s a bad ass. So much so that there have been bounties put on his head. I mean this guy has killed people. He’s going to protect you and protect the shit out of you at that.
5. He’s a pilot. A dude with a fast car is hot, right? Well how about a dude who’s spaceship did the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs? Han is the captain of The Millennium Falcon. You’ve never heard of The Millennium Falcon? This thing outruns Imperial starships. Hot, right?

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Why He’s Hot:

1. Let’s face it, Kenny Powers is the fucking man. What’s sexier than being a professional baseball player? You got it, being a professional baseball player on hiatus. He’s got all the perks of that delicious athletic build, but has all the time in the world to spend with you. Don’t forget that hair either, it takes a real man to pull off a style that bad ass. I’d love to run my fingers through those luscious locks.
2. He’s also a school teacher. How sweet is that, furthering the minds of the youth. He’s not only teaching them physical education, he’s molding their minds to make the world a better place for tomorrow. Brains and brawn, this man is the full package people.
3. Oh yeah and there’s his package. This man has the “cock of a python”. At the rate he gets around, hopefully one day all women will be lucky enough to get railed by this chiseled Greek god. Until then, we are just going to have to settle for all the garden snakes out there.
4. His jet ski. Need I say more? That leopard print detail is enough to make any woman purr. He’ll even take you out on lake for a spin, clothing optional of course
5. As much as this he loves to party, in the end he’s a family man. He loves to spend time with kids, enjoy a nice dinner with the family, and be the ultimate role model. Look at him, he’s saying grace! How cute is that! He’s the perfect combination of steamy sex god and nice guy you can take home to your mom; it doesn’t get any better than that.

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Why She’s Hot:

1. She’s got two badass names: Aurora and Briar Rose. An aurora is a fucking amazing light spectacle in the sky that will make your eyeballs bleed with excitement. Briar Rose is an old name for thorny flowers. While they may not be so cool to see (or touch), the name is still fucking sweet.
2. Aurora/Briar Rose/Sleeping Beauty/Whatever the hell you want to call her is magically gifted with beauty and song. She’s probably be even more sexy if Maleficent wasn’t such a goddamn party pooper.
3. She’s fucking sixteen!
4. Bitch looks hot when she sleeps.
5. She’s the only one with a Prince who does anything besides overcoming his emo stage. The bastard falls for her and slays a motherfucking dragon to kiss this chick. Eat that, Prince Charming!

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Why He’s Hot:

1. William the Bloody, better known as Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Not to be confused with James Marsters, the actor who portrays him. He’s the original bad boy, counting in at almost 200 years old.
2. How he looks without a shirt on. Holy God, just look at that. And of course you can’t help but look at that. And maybe just a few of these.
3. His stare. He’s undressing you with his eyes right now. That adorable smile. His face structure. Those arms. His trademark peroxide-bleached hair. Those sensuous blue/gray eyes. If that isn’t enough, maybe this is.
4. You have to admit, him and Buffy’s relationship was the hottest and most passionate thing you have ever seen. The way he went through numerous counts of torture to keep her safe; got his soul back for her; stayed by her side; comforted her when she was depressed; and sacrificed himself to save her and the world, was just plain sexy. Who wouldn’t want a guy so loyal and loving?
5. That accent - yeah, you saw that coming. We Americans don’t know what it is about an accent, but it definitely makes a guy sexier than he already is (in Spike’s case, that’s infinite sexiness).

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