Why they’re hot:

1. His fucking eyes. They can’t get any more blue. And his hands, and all the crap he puts on them - the fair trade sign, all the bracelets. You just want those hands to… well… you get the picture. His nose. His hair. His voice, seriously. Even when he isn’t singing, his voice makes you melt. Did I mention he speaks French?
2. To celebrate Gwyneth Paltrow (…hmm, could do better) getting pregnant with his kid Apple (thats fucking right, he named his daughter after a fruit) he took off his top, put on a wig and sang a song so incredibly dirty and full of innuendo. “Your cups gone up from an A to D, that’s bad for you, but it’s fun for me.” Oh, hello…
3. Yeah, he’s all yellow. He was on the fucking simpsons. A cartoon Chris Martin? Fuck me. That’s just too much awesomeness. And did I mention his run-in with Borat, PANTLESS?
4. He’s actually got, like, talent. He sings, plays guitar, and piano like a god. Scratch that, he is a god. This facebook group and all 128 members say so. And he’s a part of Coldplay. Wow.
5. This man looks damn awesome in a beanie. Or another beanie. Perhaps a hat? Or maybe a french-revolution-influenced military style is more to your fancy? Maybe a super lovely black jumper? A winner is always the rolling stones t-shirt. He even sold his Viva La Vida jacket and his Strawberry Swing outfit on ebay for charity. Some lucky girl out there can actually say she got into Chris Martin’s pants because of this.

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