Why He’s Hot: 

1. Hold the fuck up. Is that Shrek on your dashboard? You bet the fuck it is. This motherfucker is an ogre, meaning he’s deep, and he has layers like a motherfucking onion. And a sexy onion, I might add.
2. He can fucking sing. Is there anything he can’t do? Just imagine that melodic voice screaming out your name. Damn straight, that’s a sound you want to hear.
3. He’s a family guy. He’d not only fuck your brains out but he’d stick around to raise your kids too. Plus he is good with animals. Just look how caring he is. And here. It makes your heart melt. Plus he’d do anything for his one true love. That could be you, you lucky bitch.
4. You think you’d get bored of this face? Well he just downs some magic potion and BAM he’s got a new, sexy face. And his fucking donkey turns into a stallion. Damn right, he rides a stallion. You know that shit’ll make your panties wet.
5. Plus, the only woman you have to fight off is a right munter. Oh and there’s these guys too, but you could just let them join in. If you’re that way inclined. I’m not here to judge.

{submission}