Why He’s Hot:

1. What did you say? “Who is this?” you asked? This is Orson motherfucking Welles, bitch. You betta recognize your fine-ass, old Hollywood superstars.
2. Just check him out in action. Does that NOT make you wanna jump in a motherfuckin’ time machine and do unspeakable things to that meaty, man-bod of his?
3. Have you even HEARD the 1938 radio broadcast of War of the Worlds? You hear that deep, sultry voice? Ok, good. Now check the floor. Are your panties there yet?
4. He was also a magician. But, shit, it wouldn’t take any magic tricks to get you bare naked and in his bed.
5. This motherfucker hardly ever walked around without a pipe or a cigar. Makes you wish you could put something else in his mouth, now doesn’t it?

{submission}