Why He’s Hot:
- He’s Jesse Lacey. He’s the lead singer of Brand fucking New. He’s paid to make girls panic while he sings.
- He wears glasses. Who wouldn’t wanna fuck a hot guy that wears glasses?
- His style. Look at this fucking shirt. Would you buy that shit? I bet you wouldn’t, it’s ugly as fuck. But when he wears it, it’s the hottest fucking thing ever. And his hats. Is that a fucking bear hat? You bet your ass it is.
- Do you like a guy with scruff? I know I sure do, and it sure looks hot as shit on him.
- He’s adorable. Afuckingdorable. I could show you a million fucking videos proving it. Just look at that smile. And those eyes. God fucking damn, where can I find me a man like this?
- And last but not least, he is heaven sent (don’t you dare forget). He is all you’ve ever wanted, what the other boys all promised.
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