Why He’s Hot:

1. Who is that handsome son of a bitch up there, all smoldering and what not? Jeffrey Donovan, that’s who, and fuck - if it wasn’t enough for him to be hot, he even sounds hot, when just saying his damn name.
2. You may be old enough to remember him from the old series The Pretender. No? Okay. Well, how about Burn Notice? I’ll bet you recognize him from there, right? Yep. He plays Michael Westen, the sexiest unemployed man with a yogurt fetish you’ve ever seen in your life. Tonight the show comes back from winter break and it’s about goddamn time: I’ve missed basking in his Miami Heat. *crickets* You know, because the show is based in Miami, and he’s hot? Get it? THESE ARE THE JOKES, PEOPLE.
3. He’s sexy as all get out, no matter what he’s got on. A suit. A cardigan. A sweatshirt. Just sweatpants. A speedo? Yeah, still sexy.
4. “Where’d you get the beauty scar tough guy? Eatin’ pussy?” Well no, actually his older brother hit him in the face with Matchbox cars when he was a kid, but whatever. They give him a rugged, bad ass appeal. I like scars. Don’t you like scars? Of course you do.
5. He wears glasses. Holy hell: The Scruff, and perfect teeth too?! My vagina just got overwhelmed.