Why He’s Hot:

1. He’s Marky Mark! You’ve been feeling Good Vibrations in your nether regions for as long as you’ve been alive because of him. I mean, that particular song is as old as we are so you know it’s true.
2. He’s a damn fine actor, and whats sexier than a man that’s good at what he does? Nothing. I mean, especially acting. We’ve already discussed the acting|role playing relationship here before.
3. Do I even have to give you examples of the physical reasons he’s hot?! No, of course not, but I’ll do it anyway, because I wanna. I’ll take great pleasure in showing you image after image and video after video and  — wait, what? You say you’re in need of a masturbation break? Ok, fine. And speaking of finger-banging, remember that scene on the roller coaster in Fear? UMPH. Yeah, you take your time with that.
4. Back? Alright, let’s continue. He’s a fucking badass, and no one (except fellow hottie Andy Samberg) would fuck with him. He got himself into a shitload of trouble when he was young, but he turned his life around, without losing that “I’ll fucking kill you in your face” bravado. Hothothot.
5. OHMYGOD. You remember that, don’t you? It was taped to my wall too.