Why He’s Hot:
- His name is fucking Cristiano Ronaldo, quite honestly if that doesn’t turn you on then I suggest you see a doctor. It’s like sex in your mouth. No really, it is, try saying really slowly and let the words roll off your tongue. See what I mean? Now wipe your mouth, because you’ve probably got a little drool in the corners.
- The only reason anyone really wants Real Madrid to win the Champion’s League is so that he will rip off his shirt so we can see a few glorious minutes of those sweat drenched sexy abs. Ironically enough, there’s just something so sexy about a guy who handles balls for a living.
- Sure, those Brits are alright, but what we really like are the Portuguese. I mean, have you heard this guy’s accent? Even though I have no idea what the fuck he’s saying, I sure as hell wish he was whispering it in my ear.
- He’s such a goofball. He’s always joking around and laughing. You can’t help but melt whenever you see that big boyish grin and those adorable dimples that look oh-so-kissable. And speaking of his looks, check out those big, brown puppy dog eyes. How could anyone resist them? (and further more WHY would anyone resist?) He’s tall, dark and handsome; three really is a magic number my friends.
- He’s the highest paid soccer player in the world. In other words, he’s freakin’ loaded. Money is sexy, and if you’ve been told otherwise, you’ve been lied to.
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