Why He’s Hot:

1. He’s timeless. He literally is like fine wine - the older he gets, the sexier he gets. He’s old enough to be our father (almost 50! Did you know that!?) but do you think we give a shit? Fuck no.
2. He can be anyone we want him to be. Convincingly. The man is one of the best actors working today and I’m sure he doesn’t mind role playing for his lady. Oh, here, Crybaby. Let me wipe that tear with my tit.
3. That bone structure. It’s the most noticeable thing about him: it details and emphasizes how gorgeous his face is. The strong, exotic lines of his face give you a ladyboner just thinking about tracing them with your fingertips. Or maybe your tongue.
4. He’s passionate and dedicated. Now we don’t need a relationship with him - although he’s definitely forever and ever material, God knows he is - but passion and dedication translate into a good lay.
5. He’s not necessarily beyond our reach. All we need to do is kidnap Tim Burton. He’s said that he would have sex with an aardvark if Tim wanted him to so there’s the ticket: Tim’s ransom would be hot sex with Mr. Depp. Win!