Why He’s Hot:

1. Phrase: Tall, Dark, Handsome. Definition: Zachary Quinto.
2. His eyes are amazzzinngggg. It took seeing him as Spock to realize it, and maybe it was because the eyebrows otherwise overshadow them (literally), but damn. You can get lost in those babies.
3. He’s a champion of The Scruff. It’s perpetual on him, like his razor says “Zach, you’re too sexy to be close shaven. I’m gonna leave a little bit of stubble there for you. You’re welcome, bruh.”
4. He always looks good, whether he’s walking around town in flip flops and a fedora, or dressed to the nines at some red carpeted event. You know he sleeps looking all paradisiac, begging for you to wake him up with a blow job. And his hair is always perfect.  Umph, you just wanna fuck it up.
5. He might be gay. Which is fine by me, it only makes my dream of threesomes with him and his good friend with the serious bulge more plausible. Jesus H. Tapdancin’ Christ - just the thought of all the hotness in one bed makes me prematurely ejaculate.