Why He’s Hot: 

1. See that fly bitch up there? Well that’s Johnny Fucking Marr, a.k.a. the guitarist for The Smiths, Modest Mouse, and The Cribs, or better yet, JUST THE GREATEST GUITARIST WHO EVER LIVED. Think I’m joking? Think again bitch, let’s see you play a guitar this amazing while looking this fucking gorgeous. Yeah, didn’t think so. He’s so bad ass he had a plant named after him. He’s also a pretty swell dancer. On stage Morrissey and him had everyone, including straight men, swooning over them and their incredibly lush moves. Don’t you just want to give him a big hug? 
2. This man had some sweet ass motherfucking style, and still does. He totally rocks his leather jacket and stunner shades, not to mention his adorable bowl cut and Keith Richards hairdo. OH GOD, TO BE THAT HAIR. What other men do you know that can make eyeliner and mascara look this hot? He makes smoking look sexy as hell too. And those tight pants, hnnnng. Unfortunately his fabulous diamond necklace never really caught on, but he’s still a princess in our hearts~
3. Everyone knows that him and Morrissey were secret lovers back in the day. (Sorry Mick) Their chemistry was unbelievable. I mean, just look at how adorable and loving they were! CAN’T YOU SEE THE JEALOUSLY IN MORRISSEY’S EYES?  Don’t act like you don’t secretly wish they were boyfriend and girlfriend (which in this case I’m pretty sure Moz would be the girl) Like Johnny says, “He needs a good humping!” 
4. If you thought he was cute then, then check him out now.  It’s hard to believe that he’s now 46, but he’s still as precious and darling as ever. THE MAN DOESN’T AGE I SWEAR TO GOD. 
5. Still not convinced? Are you shitting me? Listen to his lovely little Manchester accent, look at his dreamy smile, how can you not be in love? JUST. LOOK. AT. HIM. beautiful, talented, gorgeous, stunning, perfect, etc. UNFFF.

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