Fabulous: almost impossible to believe; told about in fables. Matsufabulous: the sexiest creature to ever grace God’s green earth. We mere mortals dare not speak his name, for even to think it is to conjure images of a being too sexy and fabulous for our comprehension.
The Legend of Matsufab begins when he was invited to join Johnny’s & Associates without going through an audition, something only two people before him had done, immediately making him an elite and starting him on the fast track to being a high class summabitch.
He’s been a GQMF from a young age, long entrancing the women of Japan with his big, toothy, adorable grin, which has only gotten cuter with age. He’s the J-pop equivalent of that fish with the light on its head in “Finding Nemo.” Don’t lie: you started smiling and feeling fuzzy when you saw him smile, didn’t you? Yep, that’s how he gets you.
Sorry, I got so caught up in the sexy that I forgot to mention he sings and dances, too. I’m seriously, just watch. No, he’s not the best singer in the group, but when he winks and whispers “come closer” in your ear, are you really gonna be thinking that he’s kind of nasally when he sings? No, you’re not, you dumb bitch — you’re gonna be too busy screaming yourself hoarse begging him to take you now and fucking ravish you or some bullshit (and that’s assuming you can even formulate words at this point).
Hey! Eyes down here! I know, it’s nearly impossible to tear your gaze away from that sexy motherfucker, right? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Say hello to Joe Brooks. Yes, I said Joe Brooks. His name alone is so goddamn sexy, you should be about ready to drop your panties already.
If his name didn’t do it for ya, this should. He’s a goddamn guitarist. Yeah that’s right, imagine all the fucking things he can do to you with those hands. Hell, I’d let him play me any day.
His singing voice. I swear, it’s like fucking angels coming down from heaven. Imagine him serenading you. That’s right: J.I.M.P. He has the kind of downright sexy voice that you listen to on repeat while fingering yourself. Oh, you’re doing that already? Thought so.
HE’S FUCKING BRITISH, PEOPLE. Listen to that VOICE. Now imagine him whispering all sorts of sexy things in your ear, while you lie next to him in bed after hot, steamy sex. That’s right, you just cumed.
Oh, I almost forgot. On top of his insane talent, he is downright fuckable. Look at that face, that chiseled jawline, that sexified hair- that he rocks brown OR blonde. And not to mention that insanely perfect body. Now, go clean yourself up and change your panties.
Take a look at this smoldering sex stare right here. Don’t bitch out and zoom in on that, if you dare. Now regain your damn senses and listen up. This here is DooJoon, maintaining the order of 5 other fine ass fellows as the group BEAST or B2ST’s leader. He’s young, just turned 21, but he’s already a well rounded guy and everyone younger or older wants some of this. He’s even “HBIC” Hyori approved. Shit, she can get in line too.
When I say well rounded, I mean the man can sing; ignore their spelling errors on breath because your ass wouldn’t even be able to spell your own name after he serenades you, dance,has self taught piano skills and he’s athletic - he enjoys soccer. Just going by looks, he has that roguish image that would make your parents have a stroke if you pop up with. Soon as they see how fucking amazing he and are blown away with his intelligence, wit and honesty they’ll beg you not to let him get away.
Never seen that much of his unclothed body yet, I guess he’s sparing us, since he knows well that we’d all go bat shit crazy. Being the considerate person he is he looking out for our health. :) The allure of it is enough. That glare of his will make someone go crazy, just imagine him staring at you with those intense eyes when ya’ll makin’ passionate love babe, then after flash you his sweet smile. His face can make the bestexpressions known to man. He likes to take self cams of himself, lucky for us, look at this, its like he’s inviting you for a…fuck it_ insert your idea of a fantastical, feel good time here. Man looks purely lickablewithout the makeup.Have mercy, looks great from all angles.
You and him can travel around the world, have wonderful sex in exotic places, all while helping mankind, dig wells, flashing your red drawls and collecting babies together. Now don’t you wanna be with a beast that’s an inner an outer beauty.
This strangely beautiful, delicious slice of Welsh man-meat is Nicky Wire, the man with “swimming pool-blue” eyes. His genuine, trademark wide grin serves as an adorable indicator of how emotionally charged this otherwise imposing, 6’3” and wiry-framed bassist and lyricist for the Manic Street Preachers can be. Speaking of emotionally charged, he looks like he’s having a powerful orgasm quite nearly all the time on-stage, totally blissful and all but crying out in the ecstasy of being lost in music…or -you wish!- in you.
“Naturally fucking intelligent” - an off-the-cuff self-description - he’s the rock musician with a politics degree, both sharp witted and sensitive, always poetically outspoken. His definition of sexy? “Wet. Natural. Dirty.”
Hold the fuck up. Is that Shrek on your dashboard? You bet the fuck it is. This motherfucker is an ogre, meaning he’s deep, and he has layers like a motherfucking onion. And a sexy onion, I might add.
He can fucking sing. Is there anything he can’t do? Just imagine that melodic voice screaming out your name. Damn straight, that’s a sound you want to hear.
He’s a family guy. He’d not only fuck your brains out but he’d stick around to raise your kids too. Plus he is good with animals. Just look how caring he is. And here. It makes your heart melt. Plus he’d do anything for his one true love. That could be you, you lucky bitch.
You think you’d get bored of this face? Well he just downs some magic potion and BAM he’s got a new, sexy face. And his fucking donkey turns into a stallion. Damn right, he rides a stallion. You know that shit’ll make your panties wet.
Plus, the only woman you have to fight off is a right munter. Oh and there’s these guys too, but you could just let them join in. If you’re that way inclined. I’m not here to judge.